So this morning before work, I do this everyday, I have to decide what pair of shoes I am going to suffer through for the day. It all hurts, so it's just a matter of deciding what pair hurts just the tiniest bit less than all the others.
Today I picked a pair of canvas deck type shoes...then the process begins. After two attempts and roughly 15 min. I managed to bandage, and swaddle my feet enough to ward off the pain for at least 8 hours of my 11 hour work day.
I have bunions in/on both feet and Rheumatoid Arthritis in my feet and everywhere else, I deal with the pain because the last thing I need is to become addicted to a pain med, or become so tolerant that they won't work when I need them the most, 20 years (if I am lucky) down the road when I can't walk.
I use to complain about missing high heels...nowadays I just miss being able to walk without looking like a bull in a china shop, tripping over my own two feet, which happens fairly often. I don't remember what it felt like to walk pain free...screw heels. Not to mention the times I have fallen, because I can't pick up my feet.
I've had to give up my favorite summer footwear...flip flops...can't wear them, my toes so crooked flip flops rub my toes raw with the effort to walk in them. Heck most sandals are not doable because my toes rub against each other. It's awful. I honestly don't like people to look at my feet.
Most people, I am sure, take walking for granted, I know I used to. I would happily put up with all the other pain...knees that don't work, ankles that sometimes swell, finger and hands that are not as agile as they used to be...awful. Losing the ability to walk...crushing.
About Me
- KariLJ
- Just a simple gal living on the outskirts of Portland making ends meet. I have lived in Portland for over 20 years and I am happy to call it home. On this blog you will find everything from cooking to my crazy life. I hope you enjoy.
It's horrible to watch someone you love go through something so debilitating. Louis has almost lost all feeling in his right hand and arm. Often he says his hand has quit working. The pain he's in keeps him up through the night and he sleeps only after total exhaustion. Today he told me he feels less of a man because he can no longer do a lot of the simple things most take for granted. Tying his shoes, stirring whatevers cooking, brushing his hair, even putting on or taking off his shirt... all of which is somewhere between difficult and impossible, depending on the day. I can't begin to imagine how you deal with this struggle and pain on a daily basis. My heart breaks for you.
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